In the Middle

Lately I've been very happy over nothing in particular.  After spending so much of my life living in highs and lows, I've finally reached equilibrium.  I don't let small disappointments and frustrations sway me in quite the same way anymore, and I take great pleasure in the simple joys of life.  I take time to watch the sunrise, reflect on my blessings, and enjoy where I am in my life.


 


One thing that has brought me great happiness has been cooking - trying new recipes never ceases to delight me, although I do wish I had someone to share a meal with sometimes (really, I just want a big guy to come over and eat my mountains of left overs because I'm nearly out of tupperware).  I recently inherited my parent's old food processor and I can't remember the last time I was so excited about anything (I made pesto the first day I had it home).

 

I've also been enjoying my family.  On Sunday, I picked up my brother and we spent the day at Disneyland. We get along incredibly well considering our 9 year age gap (he's 15-years-old, and a sophomore in high school).  I obviously love my brother - but I must say, I quite like him too.  We pride ourselves on the fact that we're the funny ones in the family, and he had me laughing so much this weekend.  He's incredibly sensitive - but not overly so.  He's got a strong sense of justice.  He is thoughtful, caring, loving, and pretty witty.  He is musically-inclined (we may have been listening to and singing along with the Pitch Perfect soundtrack the entire car ride), creative, and athletic.  Nico is such a blessing in my life and I'm so proud of the man he's becoming.  I find his character to be a reflection of my parents, who I'm so grateful to have in my life.  I hope I can parent a child that possesses such great qualities.  I got pretty damn lucky when it comes to family.

Rainy Day in the Pumpkin Patch

My sister texted me this week asking if I would take some photos of her and her classmates at a pumpkin patch this weekend, to celebrate their senior year homecoming.  Being a big sister, how could I say no?  They were a fun, gorgeous group of kids.  Unfortunately, it was raining slightly and it was pretty cloudy but I did my best to get some good shots - here's a sampling:





































Lover, You Should Have Come Over

Right now, my heart is bursting with contentment.

Photobucket

I've got a sleepy kitty lying in his bed next to me, watching me edit pictures and yawning the cutest little yawns.  I've got Jamie Cullum's album "Twentysomething" on - listening to his sultry, sexy voice.  The air has the perfect amount of chill in it after the storm.  I'm munching on the most delicious risotto I've ever made (it's ridiculously decadent).  A mason jar full of diet Dr. Pepper in front of me.  A big bunch of gorgeous callililies on my kitchen table.  I'm surrounded by so many little joys.

Photobucket

I went to one of my favorite places (yet again) this evening: my roof.  It had just rained, with some moody clouds hanging on to one side of me, and fantastic oranges serving as the backdrop to the buildings of the Miracle Mile.  It smelled amazing, and gave me an excuse to pull on my extra warm Bear Claw boots.  I could have sat up there all night if my stomach didn't call me back down to reality.

Photobucket
Photobucket
Photobucket
Photobucket
Photobucket
Photobucket
Photobucket
Photobucket
Photobucket
Photobucket
Photobucket
Photobucket

I'm letting go of the thoughts that do not make me strong

Fitzgerald
This has been an incredibly perfect week.  A week filled with friendship, excitement, firsts, family, some really great music, and love.  Although I did go to some really great shows this week - I saw The Lumineers at the Fonda Theatre and Jason Mraz at the Hollywood Bowl, it wasn't the epic performances that have made me so happy.  I feel like I'm settling into myself - I feel very content with myself in all my imperfections.  I've really let go of the past, my regrets, my questions of "what-if", and I've been successful at being present without having to try so hard.  I've really been able to appreciate all my blessings, and the love I have in my life.  Simple joys have become my focus.  Cooking has been giving me great pleasure, music has spoken my heart, and I've been in love with the cool air in the evenings.

For so long, I've been forcing myself to start a new chapter in my life, and now it seems to be happening without trying, without expectations.  This past year has been one of change, lessons, and finding strength in myself.  I was planning out a blog post where I listed all the specific reasons I knew I was over my last relationship - but I don't feel the need.  I don't want to delve into the past; I've finally come to a place of acceptance.  The experience has defined me in so many ways, as it made it abundantly clear what I need and want in my relationships - not just romantic ones, but in my friendships too.  I don't have patience for relationships that aren't fulfilling and genuine - I want to surround myself with people who support me, and that I feel connected to, and want to give back to.  I just feel like I've been waiting to become the person I want to be and now I'm truly comfortable in my own skin.

While I still have goals and hopes for the future, I'm not expecting anything from anyone and I'm just letting life happen with an open heart.

Also - I want to introduce you to the new man in my life, pictured above.  His name is Fitzgerald (Fitz for short).  I hate cats as a general rule.  As a group, they are awful - indifferent, they stir up my allergies like crazy, and dogs are simply better.  However, I met this little guy and I was a total sucker - I invited him into my life, and he's been a total sweetheart.  We spent Sunday being lazy - snuggled up in bed, with him lying on my chest, buried in my robe.  How could I not feel content with life? (Baked fudge from scratch along with homemade whipped cream helped).

P.S. this is my personal theme song at the moment


"I'm letting myself off the hook for things I've done, I let my past go past and now I'm having more fun.  I'm letting go of the thoughts that do not make me strong and I believe this way can be the same for everyone."