|This little man brings a smile to my face every day|
This isn't to say that I don't still have dark moments, days in which my fears and insecurities take center stage. The difference now is that I don't let them swallow me. I can always find a light to guide me out. Even when my plans fall apart, I have an unwritten future to hang on to. Although it may not feel like it, I've always got to believe that I have time to change it all, to change into the best version of myself (or at the very least a better one).
Everything in my life that falls outside of the ideal only serves to refocus me on all the blessings I have. It's easy to forget about all the people who truly love you and see all the good things you have to offer the world. I've spent so much time trying to love myself and to like the person I am right now - including all my flaws and the parts of me I'm trying to change. It's so easy to think of myself as a terrible, unworthy person instead of a good person who at times makes bad decisions and wrong choices.
Having faith in myself is a struggle, but I've finally reached a point where my whole life isn't about that struggle. I am able to live more presently, to see outside of myself. When I take stock of my life, I see all of my blessings. I am constantly in awe all of the good that I have been given and I wonder why me? Why do I have such a good life when so many others are so much worse off?
It's what has me believe that I'm meant for something great, I'm meant to do good. I'm perfectly comfortable living a small, boring life - but it is my responsibility to affect other people. Before I die, all I want is to change people's lives in a positive way and spread the wealth. I want to make people smile and to make them feel loved. It may be a small life, but one that I find worthy and full of dignity.